Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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