So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Randomize
