i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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