she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
