Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
