o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
