She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
