I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
