If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
