Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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