I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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