Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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