What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
