You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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