shes about as inviting as chlamydia
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
