I think I am morally bankrupt
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
