i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
