Kiss
Puke
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
