I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
