D3 body, D1 cock
4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
