i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
