i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
