the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
