She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Acid is not a monday night drug
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
