So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
