This dress was meant to end up on your floor
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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