Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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