Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
