is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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