I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
