Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
