I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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