I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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