You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
