So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
