i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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