i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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