Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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