just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
