Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
