how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
