If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
thus making me awesome and them whores
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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