She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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