Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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