No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
