He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize