You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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