yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
