bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Is Oprah even human
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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