redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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