saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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