fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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